- Most “HR problems” are conversations that didn’t happen six months ago.
- A simple structure beats a script every time.
- The goal is a better Monday, not a perfect speech.
If you have ever lain awake at 11pm rehearsing a feedback chat, this one is for you. Across fifteen years of Norfolk workplaces, the same five conversations come up again and again — and they are the ones managers put off until they become formal problems.
1. “Your performance has slipped”
Avoided because it feels like an attack. Reframe it as support: name the specific gap, ask what is getting in the way, and agree one concrete change. Early and kind beats late and formal.
2. “Your attendance is becoming an issue”
Avoided because absence feels personal. Separate the human concern (“are you okay?”) from the business need (“we need to be able to plan”). Both are legitimate; say both.
3. “That behaviour isn’t okay here”
Avoided because it risks conflict. Be specific about the behaviour and its impact, not the person’s character. “When you talked over Priya in the meeting” lands; “you’re difficult” does not.
4. “We’re not promoting you this time”
Avoided because it disappoints. Be honest about the gap and specific about the path. Vague kindness is crueller than clear feedback.
5. “This isn’t working out”
The hardest one. With a fair process behind you, it is also the most humane — for everyone, including the team carrying the slack.
A simple framework: name the issue, give an example, state the impact, ask a question, agree a next step. Five sentences, not a screenplay.
We run a half-day workshop on exactly this, built around your real situations. See manager coaching & training →